"I try hard to stop time, embrace happiness in its entirety and express my love.
Your warm touch does it so effortlessly in this moment.
There is nothing else but you with me and I am in heaven."
Oct 27, 2008
Oct 26, 2008
Reason
"If only one could experience being in love with you,
Reason won't be sought.
For love is not thought, it is feeling."
Reason won't be sought.
For love is not thought, it is feeling."
Friendship
Coming to the special relationship I was talking about. I have to go back to your previous letter in which you asked me if you could call the feeling "friendship".
If you go by the definition or norm set by society then we have very little chance to have friendship. One reason being our "friendship" isn't clearly defined. This got me thinking. "If this is not friendship according to me, then what is it? Can I call it love?"
Allow me to explain.
See "friendship" is a bond, a relationship, between two friends. As long as they are friends, friendship exists. But if they cease to be the friends they were or if they are not the definitive "friends", then what do you call their relationship if they still have a certain feeling for each other?
Now take love.
Does one need to know a person really well to love him/her? Does love need certain set conditions or for the persons to be in a particular state? Is love restricted only to a friend? Does love cease to exist even if they haven't had contact for a long time?
Why has the world made mockery of such a beautiful word called love, by defining it as a feeling for a person you 'desire' to be with?
Love is an eternal and all-encompassing feeling, free of the trappings of the mind.
Why then, shall we take away the beauty of the relationship we share by not calling it love?
Over the years the meaning of "friendship" has just dwindled away from my life.
Perhaps I started disliking the word "friendship" when people started misusing the relationship. I felt cheated because I always felt that it is what love between two friends is called.
Then I questioned my own definition of a friend. I realised that all the people I termed as friends were merely acquaintances whom I liked more. But the real people who have been with me through my ups and downs, I have hesitated to call them a friend for want of a word higher and deeper than "friend".
That's why I ask some people not to call me a friend. That cuts short all that we could share. Because when you mention the word "friend", there are certain boundaries, albeit not clearly defined, within which one has to maintain oneself.
Why not do away with that and be just two human beings, sharing a natural feeling of bonding?
If you go by the definition or norm set by society then we have very little chance to have friendship. One reason being our "friendship" isn't clearly defined. This got me thinking. "If this is not friendship according to me, then what is it? Can I call it love?"
Allow me to explain.
See "friendship" is a bond, a relationship, between two friends. As long as they are friends, friendship exists. But if they cease to be the friends they were or if they are not the definitive "friends", then what do you call their relationship if they still have a certain feeling for each other?
Now take love.
Does one need to know a person really well to love him/her? Does love need certain set conditions or for the persons to be in a particular state? Is love restricted only to a friend? Does love cease to exist even if they haven't had contact for a long time?
Why has the world made mockery of such a beautiful word called love, by defining it as a feeling for a person you 'desire' to be with?
Love is an eternal and all-encompassing feeling, free of the trappings of the mind.
Why then, shall we take away the beauty of the relationship we share by not calling it love?
Over the years the meaning of "friendship" has just dwindled away from my life.
Perhaps I started disliking the word "friendship" when people started misusing the relationship. I felt cheated because I always felt that it is what love between two friends is called.
Then I questioned my own definition of a friend. I realised that all the people I termed as friends were merely acquaintances whom I liked more. But the real people who have been with me through my ups and downs, I have hesitated to call them a friend for want of a word higher and deeper than "friend".
That's why I ask some people not to call me a friend. That cuts short all that we could share. Because when you mention the word "friend", there are certain boundaries, albeit not clearly defined, within which one has to maintain oneself.
Why not do away with that and be just two human beings, sharing a natural feeling of bonding?
Anger
"Anger is a good thing. It separates the ones blinded by fury and ones who become more focussed by challenges."
Sacrifice
"Never demean Sacrifice by complaining about it. Only a worthy few are bestowed upon with this noble act."
Feelings and words
Humans invented words to communicate ideas, not to express feelings. Feelings are beyond words and they are best expressed through silence.
Kindness
That reminds me about how you feel when people don't respond to you in a good way when you do something for them. I believe that when you know what you are doing is right, without prejudices or any ill-intention, then, it is not the people from whom you should expect a response. God judges your actions and therefore I feel only God responds to all that you do by bestowing you with the (superior) ability of giving. As Socrates (the Greek Philosopher) said, "It is a mark of inferiority to receive and a mark of superiority to bestow kindness unto others." When you are giving, know that God treats you as a higher person compared to others.
The sky
The first thing I do when I open my eyes in the morning is to look at the sky. I have been doing this since I was a child.
The thing that I like about the sky is that it is always changing in how it appears, but it essentially remains the same. Trying to be perfect all the time and yet being beyond comparison. It is always there with you, whether you think about it or not.
The thing that I like about the sky is that it is always changing in how it appears, but it essentially remains the same. Trying to be perfect all the time and yet being beyond comparison. It is always there with you, whether you think about it or not.
Speak
All this goes to say..........just speak what you feel like speaking. Let not your thoughts stop you from being yourself.
Boundaries of words
I feel really honoured when you tell me that our thinking is similar. I ask you one thing, "When you say you are happy (just concentrate on the word "happy" here for a moment) does it sum up the entire feeling that you feel when you find someone who has the same thinking or behaviour as you?"
I am trying to explain to you the boundaries of words.
Let's take the example of how you feel when you are trekking. When you are with nature, when you are feeling one with nature does the word "happy" express all that you feel?
What you feel, is beyond words. Why restrict the completeness of the feeling by settling it for a word? Let the feeling be free of words. Let the feeling be free. And you will know that we don't need words most of the times.
The same goes for words like "Passion", "Peace-of-mind", "Joy", and lots more. These are all supreme levels of being. Words don't do justice when you actually feel those feelings.
Another simple way of explaining this is, when you love someone completely, can you explain "Love"?
I am trying to explain to you the boundaries of words.
Let's take the example of how you feel when you are trekking. When you are with nature, when you are feeling one with nature does the word "happy" express all that you feel?
What you feel, is beyond words. Why restrict the completeness of the feeling by settling it for a word? Let the feeling be free of words. Let the feeling be free. And you will know that we don't need words most of the times.
The same goes for words like "Passion", "Peace-of-mind", "Joy", and lots more. These are all supreme levels of being. Words don't do justice when you actually feel those feelings.
Another simple way of explaining this is, when you love someone completely, can you explain "Love"?
Correct Grammar
Then again, is it really important to communicate in perfect language with someone when you don't really require words?
When I read your letters I never pay attention to the grammar, the spellings or whether the letter unravels in a coherent manner. For me you are in the words, not which words you use, but what you feel or think when you write a word. And when I read your words like that, I never see anything else. It's like you are speaking with me in person.
When I read your letters I never pay attention to the grammar, the spellings or whether the letter unravels in a coherent manner. For me you are in the words, not which words you use, but what you feel or think when you write a word. And when I read your words like that, I never see anything else. It's like you are speaking with me in person.
Raindrops
I wrote the following piece as I watched the rain outside my window:
"The raindrops slowly form on the window. I give my “life” a break and just enjoy being born again as I see and smell the rain. For a moment I am free. For a moment it’s just me and the rain. I wish I could see the rain with you and live an entire life in this moment."
"The raindrops slowly form on the window. I give my “life” a break and just enjoy being born again as I see and smell the rain. For a moment I am free. For a moment it’s just me and the rain. I wish I could see the rain with you and live an entire life in this moment."
Purpose of life
I read the following in a book I'm reading. "When one learns to live life completely, understanding one's actions, understanding one's thinking, appreciating one's capabilities (no matter how small), working to the best of one's abilities, having no sign of confined thoughts, just working with one's soul, then one doesn't need a purpose in life. Then the life you lead is of purpose."
I was just smitten by it.
I was just smitten by it.
Thought
When I think about it, I find that as we grow up we lose something very precious. We lose our way of looking at the world without any prejudices or judgements, all in the name of 'growing up'. In fact the philosophy I've been reading about in the past couple of days tends to point out just that.
"In trying to seek simplicity in our lives, we end up making it all the more complicated by our thoughts."
It goes on to say, "You don't get love when you seek it, just like that peace in one's life doesn't come by seeking. It comes by creating an environment within oneself for peace to come and reside. That means eliminating thought when it is not needed. One needs thought when one is working or studying or dealing with the world. But one doesn't have to bring thought in the picture when one is dealing with oneself. The reason is that our thoughts are created and based upon our experiences. This in turn means that our thoughts are based on the old. When we are trying to bring about a positive change, something new, then how can this process of bringing in the new be based on something that is old and mostly biased? One needs to understand completely, only then can one get rid of thought."
"Our fears are created by our thought. Eliminate the thought that brought about this fear and you can eliminate fear itself."
"In trying to seek simplicity in our lives, we end up making it all the more complicated by our thoughts."
It goes on to say, "You don't get love when you seek it, just like that peace in one's life doesn't come by seeking. It comes by creating an environment within oneself for peace to come and reside. That means eliminating thought when it is not needed. One needs thought when one is working or studying or dealing with the world. But one doesn't have to bring thought in the picture when one is dealing with oneself. The reason is that our thoughts are created and based upon our experiences. This in turn means that our thoughts are based on the old. When we are trying to bring about a positive change, something new, then how can this process of bringing in the new be based on something that is old and mostly biased? One needs to understand completely, only then can one get rid of thought."
"Our fears are created by our thought. Eliminate the thought that brought about this fear and you can eliminate fear itself."
Peace
It is funny that we strive so hard all our lives to achieve peace of mind. We put all our efforts, our blood, sweat, tears in trying to have peace. But in death........all we have is peace and that too without any effort.
Loneliness
What a feeling loneliness is! Serene and beautiful!
I hope you don't think that I have gone nuts. In fact when I didn't know the true worth of loneliness, I reacted in the same way you did.
My first 'real' experience with loneliness started when I was 16-17 years old. I trusted my family and friends to help me overcome it. I thought it was a BIG problem. It didn't trouble me much for most part of my life. But when I came to Leeds, I had no family and no friends. I don't make friends very easily and even if I do their friendship doesn't last for more than 1 year. Of course I have exceptions.
I had a very tough time. And like you, I thought that I should fight it rather than succumb to it.
The next question was, "How do you fight something like loneliness? It is not the result of something. And most of the times, it is not the cause of anything."
I tried spending more time with friends and spoke to my family more over the phone. Instead of alleviating it, my loneliness started increasing in an exponential manner. I felt at one point that I have completely lost control.
At that point I did what I normally do when faced with a seemingly impossible challenge, I asked questions.
It took a lot of time to answer those questions. But I was never give up without having the answers.
Have you ever wondered, "When I feel lonely I like being with people. Why do I feel good when I am with other people? What do these people do that I am happy with myself? If I have to be happy with myself, do I need people to make me feel good about myself? Why I can't I be happy being alone with myself? Is my happiness dependent on other people? Is my feeling good dependent on other people? When I am feeling good about myself, do I feel lonely?"
Please pardon me if these questions seem intimidating or offensive. They are the questions I asked myself. In addition to them I asked, "Why do I feel depressed when I am alone? Why is loneliness such a bad feeling? When I am lonely there is no other person who makes me feel bad, so why do I feel bad?"
It is disappointing that in our childhood we are taught to read, write, play and do things. But we are never taught how to think. We are taught to feel good when we are with other people. But we are never taught how to feel good when we are alone.
"I am concerned. I am concerned with my loneliness. My loneliness is sacred. It is my state of being devoid of anything or anyone that is not me. It is my state of being absolutely pure. In my loneliness I have you."
(The word "you" in the last line refers to oneself in the third person.)
The word loneliness is actually a very corrupted form of a GREAT word.......ONENESS.
Loneliness is therefore a state of oneness with oneself.
This state is peaceful, happy, great, energising, loving, wise........if that is what you think of yourself; and it is sad or depressing if that is what you consider yourself to be.
Being alone gives you the most precious opportunity to connect yourself. Be wise enough to realise it.
At all other times you are working for others, so why can't you have time for yourself? Is spending time with yourself bad or sad or depressing? No. Then why does loneliness have to be bad?
Loneliness is serene and beautiful!
I hope you don't think that I have gone nuts. In fact when I didn't know the true worth of loneliness, I reacted in the same way you did.
My first 'real' experience with loneliness started when I was 16-17 years old. I trusted my family and friends to help me overcome it. I thought it was a BIG problem. It didn't trouble me much for most part of my life. But when I came to Leeds, I had no family and no friends. I don't make friends very easily and even if I do their friendship doesn't last for more than 1 year. Of course I have exceptions.
I had a very tough time. And like you, I thought that I should fight it rather than succumb to it.
The next question was, "How do you fight something like loneliness? It is not the result of something. And most of the times, it is not the cause of anything."
I tried spending more time with friends and spoke to my family more over the phone. Instead of alleviating it, my loneliness started increasing in an exponential manner. I felt at one point that I have completely lost control.
At that point I did what I normally do when faced with a seemingly impossible challenge, I asked questions.
It took a lot of time to answer those questions. But I was never give up without having the answers.
Have you ever wondered, "When I feel lonely I like being with people. Why do I feel good when I am with other people? What do these people do that I am happy with myself? If I have to be happy with myself, do I need people to make me feel good about myself? Why I can't I be happy being alone with myself? Is my happiness dependent on other people? Is my feeling good dependent on other people? When I am feeling good about myself, do I feel lonely?"
Please pardon me if these questions seem intimidating or offensive. They are the questions I asked myself. In addition to them I asked, "Why do I feel depressed when I am alone? Why is loneliness such a bad feeling? When I am lonely there is no other person who makes me feel bad, so why do I feel bad?"
It is disappointing that in our childhood we are taught to read, write, play and do things. But we are never taught how to think. We are taught to feel good when we are with other people. But we are never taught how to feel good when we are alone.
"I am concerned. I am concerned with my loneliness. My loneliness is sacred. It is my state of being devoid of anything or anyone that is not me. It is my state of being absolutely pure. In my loneliness I have you."
(The word "you" in the last line refers to oneself in the third person.)
The word loneliness is actually a very corrupted form of a GREAT word.......ONENESS.
Loneliness is therefore a state of oneness with oneself.
This state is peaceful, happy, great, energising, loving, wise........if that is what you think of yourself; and it is sad or depressing if that is what you consider yourself to be.
Being alone gives you the most precious opportunity to connect yourself. Be wise enough to realise it.
At all other times you are working for others, so why can't you have time for yourself? Is spending time with yourself bad or sad or depressing? No. Then why does loneliness have to be bad?
Loneliness is serene and beautiful!
Learning
Very few remember these two old aphorisms:
1. "Circumstances are the creation of man. Man is not a creature of circumstances."
2. "Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so."
We learn to live life with the help of experiences. What we learn from experiences are the lessons with which we live our lives.
For most part of my life I, like most people, tried very hard to have as many good experiences as possible and tried harder to make sure that I have no bad experiences. The harder I tried to run away from these bad experiences I felt that I started experiencing them more. One day I stopped myself and asked, "What is so good about these bad experiences that they keep coming back in my life? Surely there must be some reason why God puts me through a lot of struggle!"
I thought about this for many days. The answer finally came when I was about to go to sleep one night.
The answer was, "When I'm going through a good experience, is there anything else I think about other than just feeling happy? No. I'm just happy, I don't think about anything else............ When I'm going through a bad experience, is there anything else I think about other than feeling sad or disappointed or depressed?........Yes..........I have a lot of questions as to why things went wrong or what did I do wrong or should I have done it some other way.....and more questions like that."
"When I ask questions to myself I learn. So when I ask so many questions when things go wrong or I am having a bad experience, I am learning. I am learning how to be better next time. I am learning about how I did things wrong this time. I am learning about my way of thinking. I am learning how not to experience failure. I am learning more about myself."
"When I learn so many things from a bad experience, how can it be "bad"? It is actually good!"
So if you ask me whether a bad experience can change someone's life; I say, "Of course it does."
Whether the experience makes the person strong or weak depends on the person.
If we LEARN and not just feel bad about going through a bad experience, we make our lives better. Isn't that what we ultimately want?
1. "Circumstances are the creation of man. Man is not a creature of circumstances."
2. "Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so."
We learn to live life with the help of experiences. What we learn from experiences are the lessons with which we live our lives.
For most part of my life I, like most people, tried very hard to have as many good experiences as possible and tried harder to make sure that I have no bad experiences. The harder I tried to run away from these bad experiences I felt that I started experiencing them more. One day I stopped myself and asked, "What is so good about these bad experiences that they keep coming back in my life? Surely there must be some reason why God puts me through a lot of struggle!"
I thought about this for many days. The answer finally came when I was about to go to sleep one night.
The answer was, "When I'm going through a good experience, is there anything else I think about other than just feeling happy? No. I'm just happy, I don't think about anything else............ When I'm going through a bad experience, is there anything else I think about other than feeling sad or disappointed or depressed?........Yes..........I have a lot of questions as to why things went wrong or what did I do wrong or should I have done it some other way.....and more questions like that."
"When I ask questions to myself I learn. So when I ask so many questions when things go wrong or I am having a bad experience, I am learning. I am learning how to be better next time. I am learning about how I did things wrong this time. I am learning about my way of thinking. I am learning how not to experience failure. I am learning more about myself."
"When I learn so many things from a bad experience, how can it be "bad"? It is actually good!"
So if you ask me whether a bad experience can change someone's life; I say, "Of course it does."
Whether the experience makes the person strong or weak depends on the person.
If we LEARN and not just feel bad about going through a bad experience, we make our lives better. Isn't that what we ultimately want?
Appearance and beauty
"Appearance can be put in words, not beauty.
Let silence be praise enough,
For you have stalled time and thought."
Let silence be praise enough,
For you have stalled time and thought."
Victory in defeat
Do what you truly feel from your heart, and even in (every) defeat there will be victory beyond comprehension.
Job-hunt
Don't go about hunting for a job. Apply to various places and wait. Let God choose the best places for you and get you opportunities. Be wise enough to recognise those opportunities and then make the best use of them.
Lines on the palm
The lines on your palm tell me stories.
I feel the warmth of your touch and lose myself in it.
The lines on your palm may tell many stories, but they never speak about the love that you give.
I feel the warmth of your touch and lose myself in it.
The lines on your palm may tell many stories, but they never speak about the love that you give.
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