Loneliness

What a feeling loneliness is! Serene and beautiful!
I hope you don't think that I have gone nuts. In fact when I didn't know the true worth of loneliness, I reacted in the same way you did.
My first 'real' experience with loneliness started when I was 16-17 years old. I trusted my family and friends to help me overcome it. I thought it was a BIG problem. It didn't trouble me much for most part of my life. But when I came to Leeds, I had no family and no friends. I don't make friends very easily and even if I do their friendship doesn't last for more than 1 year. Of course I have exceptions.
I had a very tough time. And like you, I thought that I should fight it rather than succumb to it.
The next question was, "How do you fight something like loneliness? It is not the result of something. And most of the times, it is not the cause of anything."
I tried spending more time with friends and spoke to my family more over the phone. Instead of alleviating it, my loneliness started increasing in an exponential manner. I felt at one point that I have completely lost control.
At that point I did what I normally do when faced with a seemingly impossible challenge, I asked questions.
It took a lot of time to answer those questions. But I was never give up without having the answers.
Have you ever wondered, "When I feel lonely I like being with people. Why do I feel good when I am with other people? What do these people do that I am happy with myself? If I have to be happy with myself, do I need people to make me feel good about myself? Why I can't I be happy being alone with myself? Is my happiness dependent on other people? Is my feeling good dependent on other people? When I am feeling good about myself, do I feel lonely?"
Please pardon me if these questions seem intimidating or offensive. They are the questions I asked myself. In addition to them I asked, "Why do I feel depressed when I am alone? Why is loneliness such a bad feeling? When I am lonely there is no other person who makes me feel bad, so why do I feel bad?"
It is disappointing that in our childhood we are taught to read, write, play and do things. But we are never taught how to think. We are taught to feel good when we are with other people. But we are never taught how to feel good when we are alone.
"I am concerned. I am concerned with my loneliness. My loneliness is sacred. It is my state of being devoid of anything or anyone that is not me. It is my state of being absolutely pure. In my loneliness I have you."
(The word "you" in the last line refers to oneself in the third person.)
The word loneliness is actually a very corrupted form of a GREAT word.......ONENESS.
Loneliness is therefore a state of oneness with oneself.
This state is peaceful, happy, great, energising, loving, wise........if that is what you think of yourself; and it is sad or depressing if that is what you consider yourself to be.
Being alone gives you the most precious opportunity to connect yourself. Be wise enough to realise it.
At all other times you are working for others, so why can't you have time for yourself? Is spending time with yourself bad or sad or depressing? No. Then why does loneliness have to be bad?
Loneliness is serene and beautiful!